betrothal

lenten resolve. eager and hopeful for weeks of intention to move me beyond me

supernaturally

wondering what will come in and within
in spite of this foolish and wayward heart
by somber reflection on grace that my 'me-ness' had no part in
but to desperately rely on what was given
so incomprehensibly on a tree of rough hewn boards
so many generations ago

and all these saints
believing and
intentioned and
hopeful
receive an overflow of grace that cannot run out but drips down expensively, excessively over the edges of a cup worn smooth by these thirsty lips across time and language
one in their humanity,
in desperation

and we, one
all reflecting on his denial of glory.

yet, even in the face of such mysterious glorious unfettered zealous love, my undisciplined heart is inattentive
subdued by the mere passing of hours and days which do not the delay the Lords coming
lo, even now he smoothes straight the crooked wrinkles in the fabric of our broken exile

though we have called it home

waiting, almost indifferently, continuing on with mundane and uninspired living
and this season, by wednesday is no different for the waiting but to sway ever so slightly towards

longing
wishing impulsively in bits and fits of vision and grace for
oneness
unity
life
the ache for existence that throbs deep within our being

and so we mourn.
confusingly, haltingly, desperately knowing our uncertainty can only mean we are still far
and God is willfully beyond our control
and yet in control, he sees us as we are and fashions life and purpose and order

for our good

for our good

for our good

and his GLORY.

and this glory-goodness creeps into my barely beating heart and warms a dawn of renewed hope
a new orientation and a growing knowlege of what we wait for and the horizion of it's coming
the union that will remove the wedge and thorn and tear and trial
the union that will break the bonds of death in me that I might know life
new kingdom, of his increase there shall be no end

a covenant of love. a covenant of mercy. a covenant of unity.
though I will never uphold my vow
Omega, it is finished

lenten revival. lenten renewal. lenten reconditioning
toward hope. HOPE.
rejoicing now about what is to come
for I am transformed by the renewing of my mind,
knowing sacrificial and once-for-all love that upsets the nations and might possibly
stir this heart

is good.