already

The Lord is my provider. 

The Lord. 

The Lord is. 

Provider. Provision. Portion. 

my?

In this not-yet world I should not be so surprised to find myself in another not-yet stage of life. Not yet employed. Not yet married. Not yet settled. A haze of things not complete, problems not solved, answers not given. So I keep rhythms of already. Already working, sort of. Already in love with an amazing, Godly man. Already committed to a new community and dreaming new dreams. Rhythms of being more human all the time, with clarity and questions and calm.

Already, not-yet. Almost, not-fully. Yearning, revealing.

Revealing what?

my portion. my provision. my Provider.

The Lord is. 

Teaching me love and patience.

Revealing the grandeur of his creation.

Reminding me of the joy of my salvation,

and the robust grace which abides with me as I work it out each day.

some days trembling. sometimes leaping with joy, skipping in anticipation.

and by his grace, fear of the not-yet is diminishing and a humble curiosity is growing in me.

a renewed and ever earnest longing, firmly rooted in a hope that flourishes. Today.


So I will work and wait and grow. I will observe seasons with an renewed appreciation of time, for we have been granted a rich gift of all the time that is. Our Lord is not bound by it, yet he has entrusted us with what is. all. enough.


create in me a clean heart, Oh God. and re new

re fresh

re form

a right spirit 

a right human-ness

a right worship

within me